another friendship seems to fall :(

it's amazing how far one goes to believe lies
it's sad to think one wn't go ask for the truth, because they'd rather wallow in self pity.
it's tiring to keep fighting for a friendship towards one who doesn't seem to want it
it's kind of funny when you talk about losing that friendship while speaking to that very person about it; and they are clueless.
it's sad to be pushed away, especially when you see them talking about they have no friends...
it's irritating when while one is wrapped up in their own hurt of drama, they create more towards you and they never realize it hurts just the same.
it's disappointing that you still hold onto anger towards others, and tell everyone you're just 'looking out for them'.

do you really believe the lies you tell?
do you really expect it to happen like it seems to in your world?
go ahead, throw away friendships, lust after anger, hang on to every move of them all.
go ahead, tell me lies to 'get me to tell the truth', let me get mad one more time, and leave me in the dark crying.
go ahead, expect everyone to pity you, complain to me like i'm your best friend, and then push it all away to be in your all-about-you world.
you know what? it's okay to have a broken heart. i do.
it's okay to be depressed. i have those moments.
but for God's sake, and yes i'm using the Lord, hold on to your friendships. you're going to need them when everything abandons you. there'll be a time when you will doubt God, and you will have nothing on the earth to hold onto either. that will be the peak of depressment. it's not fun. i've been there, but usually it seems to be the fact people have pushed me away; not i've pushed them.
it's horrible.
there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.
but are you going to go blindly the other way?
or are you willing to follow it? let go of your still buried anger? hold hands with your friends?

i miss you. i really do. but you frustrate the heck out of me. i can't believe you'd accuse me of something you know very well i do not do. that hurt so bad last night, you'll never know how much that pain is. i'd thought better of you, and the fact that it happened... i got off crying, because i knew if i stayed on, i'd yell and scream and ruin my side of the friendship that's still hanging on.
you've hurt me too many times for someone practical to keep this friendship. i should have let you go a long time ago. but i haven't, and it hurts. a lot.
now will you remember that people actually love you?
or will you push them all away?
because i love you.