selfishism....

i have come to the realization that i am incredibly selfish.
that being said, i would like to try and change that.
i complain to much. do i do anything about since? no.
i get yelled at for being too defensive with my words at home. i get irritated that i do, yet still i speak before i think.
i don't read the Bible except in church two nights a week. that's absolutely horrible....
i also don't pray hardly at all. so much for being a good christ follower....
i'm immature how i handle some work problems; honestly i just don't know how to handle them in the first place. perhaps i should learn.
i am not well on holding on friends; but i never try to continually reach out to them. this, this i decided to try and grab ahold of the friends i have now, and hold on tight.
i learned more stuff about people this past week then i ever have.
i learned what it's like to have FUN with more then one person at a time. i learned that i believe my heart was broken for real, instead of refusing to believe it and holding on to it by a splinter. i learned i'd wait a lifetime to heal a lost friendship. i wonder if you still read this...
i don't make new year resolutions; i think they're stupid in my opinion. but if there was any type; i'd try and use them on myself. i no longer want to be selfish. i want to be unto others. i am jealous. i am selfish. i am proud. i am not a motivator. i want to change everything about what i said here, and do good.
and under Christ.
good day.