the Boy and my big dipper,

i think i've figured it out....
i learned/realized three things last night.
that time is needed, he is a hypocrite though i don't think he knows, and being comfortable may be the key.


that time is needed;
the Boy is extremely uncomfortable. at one point he was like, "i just want to get to know you better," i didn't take that hint right away.
i believe i got this.
haha. we played 20 questions the other day x]


and being comfortable may be the key;
so last night we were at my house instead of a park, playing connect four, for an hour. an hour!!! haha it was fun. i was just sick earlier so i was quiet because the hyperness of everyone at youthgroup was ringing in my head [headache].
but it was fun.

he is a hypocrite though i don't think he knows;
then,
THEN; the Boy's playing against my brother, and i'm behind him, semi resting my head on his shoulder [really just my chin, i was leaning on his chair from behind] and he kinda leans against my head too. !!
the Boy who told me to stop being affectionate because it messes with his head.

he is so freaking confusing!!!!!! LOL.
i think in order to get comfortable, he's using a safe environment, one that he likes, and just to have fun. i also think he Might have wanted to go there instead of a park because he didn't want to go deep talking like we seem to always do now at the parks.



right before we left, we were out there next to his car talking and looking at the stars :]
{big dipper is mine, btw, and the sun/moon is his}
he keeps looking at me like he wants more, but he's trying to resist. and i have a hard time not wanting to kiss him. he looks like a puppy. bad way to want to kiss someone..... but he's my favorite. everyone think we're dating anyway. lol.

*sigh*
someday, maybe soon, i'm going to forget to hold back, and i'm going to kiss him. we'll see how that goes, hmph.