black friday/

i clearly hate thanksgiving traditional stuff, except for the food and the family bonding time. [guess that covers quite a bit...]
last year i was up in tennessee with a friend and her crazy family for thanksgiving.
this year i ate at home GOOD COOKING and played scattegories with my family. much better.
i feel like thanksgiving almost marks a new year. what's funny is to think of where i was last year at this time. i was at college. barely seventeen. i had just broken up with my boyfriend of the time at the beginning of the month.
around this time the next month i found out i needed to stay home. i fell in love in december with a boy who i didn't even see until april, really. tell me how that is amazing. it wasn't a physical bonding. we marked out our stars and souls over the internet, late nights of spilling secrets.
i went into depression soon after january, the truth of great friends no longer there for me was a big hit.
i'm thankful for the time i had there at north carolina.
depression hit and life was a rollercoaster. [not to say it isn't now!!] i was picked up by a friend, and held onto dearly in one of the deepest "relationships" i have ever had. from february on things began to pick up.
i fell in love again. yes, i believe i had. i found two different kinds of love this year. summer was a race to reach the 'goal'. the goal of the boy.
i began to spend almost every night with this kid, my summer basically consisted of work and the Boy.
i am thankful for him; he pulled me up and out of depression.
september started and i no longer spoke with him. he went off to college and i am still here.
september's came and went, so did october.
i turned eighteen.
november is all but gone.
i am now in the midst of that humongous rollercoaster again... and it's hard to "rehab" it again, especially since your 'teacher' isn't there this time...

my hopes, dreams, desires and troubles have all changed, turned, twisted and are here again.
i am thankful for not losing my head completely.


and i have that butterfly of hope resting on my shoulder.