april 22-2010

i miss the way we were, the two of us
i miss who we were
i'm scared of how this friendship is going; how you are
3,000 miles away i hope you think of me
not to miss me [that doesn't seem to work]
but to remember what i made you,
and what you made me
i miss our talks that lead up through the night
the ones where we talked about everything and anything
i miss our middle-school ways.. as you and i are college age
i miss how each of us were holding our breaths;
writing up our souls without realizing what we were doing...
only to find out two months later, we both felt something new
scared to say it, but wanting to
did 'i love you' really come out our mouths?
..i miss being able to say 'i miss you', and that meant the normal stuff
now it means too much, tabooed from our language of talk
i miss wishing what could have been and how we ended
i miss the realization of us both that is was really true
i still miss the 'i love you's'
now were prim and proper
not one slip comes up to pen
i have learned to keep my mouth shut
but show affection when i can
i miss you now,
i missed you then
i'll miss you even though you tell me we can never be
even though 3,000 miles separate us, i still love you now
thank goodness you'll never read this so i can tell you so
i'll miss you when you're older
and dancing in whatever company
i'll miss you after college, and on to better things
i'll miss you when i'm old, and cannot dance anymore
i'll miss you when i'm dying
and you are no more
i'll wonder what you're doing
wonder if we'll keep in touch
wonder if you'll ever think of me
because i will love you to the end; it becomes a curse for me
no matter if i love another
or a spinster in old age
there's that spot for you,
deep within my heart
a spot where you'll never leave nor can if you tried
because loving you was meant to be
and loving you is what i do best.