hallow's eve.

john 16:33 = 'i have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. you will have suffering in this world. be courageous! i have conquered the world.'


today, i have been seizure free for one year. :D :D :D


it's halloween today. i've been spidergirl for the last two nights, for the ymca on friday and a party last night. haha.
friday night i had an americano and wore a cape. dangerous combination, though i was hyper for several hours and had a smile on my face. [lets just say there was a lot of cape swishing and jumping involved]


tazshia's party was pretty good. it was a party. need i say more?



now for a quiet evening of movie watching.

escape - rupert holmes

I was tired of my lady
We'd been together too long
Like a worn-out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read

"If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape."

I didn't think about my lady
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady
Have fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And though I'm nobody's poet
I thought it wasn't half bad

"Yes I like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red-tape
At a bar called O'Malley's
Where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, "Oh it's you."
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew."

That you like Pina Coladas
Getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes of the Cape
You're the lady I've looked for
Come with me and escape

april 22-2010

i miss the way we were, the two of us
i miss who we were
i'm scared of how this friendship is going; how you are
3,000 miles away i hope you think of me
not to miss me [that doesn't seem to work]
but to remember what i made you,
and what you made me
i miss our talks that lead up through the night
the ones where we talked about everything and anything
i miss our middle-school ways.. as you and i are college age
i miss how each of us were holding our breaths;
writing up our souls without realizing what we were doing...
only to find out two months later, we both felt something new
scared to say it, but wanting to
did 'i love you' really come out our mouths?
..i miss being able to say 'i miss you', and that meant the normal stuff
now it means too much, tabooed from our language of talk
i miss wishing what could have been and how we ended
i miss the realization of us both that is was really true
i still miss the 'i love you's'
now were prim and proper
not one slip comes up to pen
i have learned to keep my mouth shut
but show affection when i can
i miss you now,
i missed you then
i'll miss you even though you tell me we can never be
even though 3,000 miles separate us, i still love you now
thank goodness you'll never read this so i can tell you so
i'll miss you when you're older
and dancing in whatever company
i'll miss you after college, and on to better things
i'll miss you when i'm old, and cannot dance anymore
i'll miss you when i'm dying
and you are no more
i'll wonder what you're doing
wonder if we'll keep in touch
wonder if you'll ever think of me
because i will love you to the end; it becomes a curse for me
no matter if i love another
or a spinster in old age
there's that spot for you,
deep within my heart
a spot where you'll never leave nor can if you tried
because loving you was meant to be
and loving you is what i do best.

ding dong the witch is dead

well, haven't been on lately. this is probably a good thing, i've been busy!
dance has been going good, i mean... i'm so behind its almost funny, but it sets me up to a goal. the tiniest things the director notices every once in a while makes me feel at least a bit accomplished. the major dance i'm learning is a breakdancing piece. oh. my. gosh. i cannot breakdance.
so while i'm learning this, trying to retain and really get it, i'm also trying to be fierce and ATTACK it!
lol........ and gain confidence somewhere in there too..

work is going good, i'm working five days a week, not much on the hours still but i love it down there. such a great group and surroundings and a beautiful atmosphere. don't know if i would ever get stressed there or not.

i got to see my best friend last saturday [: so happy about that.

next week is halloween!!!!!!!!! one of my favorite holidays. i'm helping out at the Y this year, and i'm pretty much more excited. i think i'm going as spiderman! or spidergirl, more like it.. haha getting my costume today with my grandma! taking her into all those stores she doesn't like hahaha.


TWENTY SEVEN DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY! so stoked. golden !!!


so that''s my life in a banana skin.

saturday, sunny!

I GET TO SEE MY BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING BEST FRIEND MEGHAN TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so sosososososososo so sos os os ososososo excited.


today i was waiting in line for gas... right when my turn was about to happen, an suv cut in front of me. i honked my horn and was pretty pissed. i had been waiting forever. [okay, seemed like forever]
the guy getting out stops his car, gets out and shakes the cars' hand, and asks. him. to. move. so i got my spot!!
all i could do was catch the chivalrous man's eye and wave out my jaw-dropping-gratitude.
lets just say i'll be in a good mood for a while.

silence - bradley hathaway

What’s happening here?
I was once so alive and now I’m so full of dread and almost dead
Show me your wounded head that is lead to communion with the father
But where did he go?
His presence seems farther and farther away each day
but I’m trying so hard to steer his way
Yet still lonely and confused on this cold hard ground I lay

Speak to me wise mouth and say “it’s all good kid, it’s nothing that you did, and though it feels like I’m not here with you right now just be still and silent and listen for that sound..
Shhh..
Did you hear it?
Listen again.
Did you hear it?
That silent voice that just spoke nothing, that is me, I’m listening to your plea with open ears Counting all your tears flowing from your irritated eyes
Searching the skies looking for that hope that beyond there lies.

Oh you young worrisome sparrow, find rest
Lay your battered head upon my omnipresent breast and make it your nest
No strong cold wind could ever blow and carry you from this your home
Look around, see the life shooting up from the ground
Spring colors springing fourth and celebration of your trusting

It’s a constant process this is
Growing you into the man you are to become
But when you sense the setting of the sun know it is only rising and has just begun
Now go fourth, sing songs of faith, and lift up others in the midst of this race
And if you can’t keep the pace or lose sight of my face
Know that I’m always near so you need not fear
But don’t worry about all that right now
Just sit here and enjoy the peace I offer in my silence
When I am silent I am listening, and not abandoning.

the love of dancing.

"a studio or a stage, it makes no difference. the outside world has already lost you in a passionate affair with the music, with you falling love with dancing."

light kisses darkness as the firefly glow

as
light kisses darkness as the firefly glow
i'll send some down to you
so keep you company at night
not as lonely as i feel

and i'll keep track, as they come back
the days apart from you get less
as
light kisses darkness as the firefly glow
lighting up our world.

oh you make me smile,

is it good that you actually decided to talk to me, even though i was up because i'm 3 hours behind you...
or because you're high, should i be slightly disappointed?
either way.
you surprised me.

reunion of nothing of the sort.

so funny to see someone you had this huge crush on in middleschool... the one you had for three years, and nothing ever came from it?
just felt the same all over again hahahaha
even a friend could tell there was something between us. frisson?
then you get all the "guys" together and they're all outdoing the other in their macho stories. oh man.
what fun are homeschoolers.

she's always a woman - billy joel

She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child,
But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe you
And she'll take what you give her, as long as it's free
Yeah, she steals like a thief
But she's always a woman to me

CHORUS:
Oh--she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh--and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

And she'll promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you're bleedin'
But she'll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she's always a woman to me
--Mhmm--

Bridge

CHORUS:
Oh--she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh--and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me
--Mhmm--

"when one door of happiness closes, another opens; but we often look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." - helen keller

'i'll go where ever you will go' - the calling

So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go

easy. aaaaaaaaah.

i love it when you make someone's day.
even better when you can tell after [:


okay i'm kinda offended by this.. why on earth would i judge you? honestly you had me thinking much worse then you put out. i'm not going to judge you for who you are. don't ever think that. you're my friend. end of story.