i am sick. yuck.

today i almost saw the light; the glow was a familiar yet foreign thing upon my eyelids. is this hope, or desperation?

my thoughts betray me as i feel myself veering off the path i walk.
must i walk on hands and knees to keep myself from leaving?

if i must walk by blind sight, it is because of the darkness covering me like a woolen blanket but also because why should i deserve to see?

[peter pan was aMaZiNg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]



yesterday i embarked on a journey. i was alone by sight, and accompanied by blindness.
today i am getting closer to the fork on the road. it is very dark and i am trying not to be scared, for my invisible companion is beside me. i must find hope.

happy saint patrick's day.

this is the day that has inspired me to get a tattoo. now let's get on with it. please? lol!

life gets old...

don't mind me, i'll just get over my new phase.

if my love would make the world go round,
it would go around so much faster
my web of heartbeats would those i say i need.....

[i'm gonna] party like a rockstar - jt experience

Got a broken heart again
It must be the millionth time
Now you're out with all your friends
and I'm home alone crying.
You said we'd last forever,
forever came at noon.
So tonight there's only one thing to do
I'm gonna

- chorus -
Party like a rock star, hit a bunch of strip bars
wake up naked in a hotel room
Throw my TV out the window, smoke a bunch of indo
Anything to get my mind off of you.
Find a telephone pole to wrap around my car,
and party like a rock star.

After all the nights we spent cuddling on the couch
and all the parties I turned down because you didn't feel like going out
I guarantee you Steven Tyler didn't put up with crap like this
But tonight I'm making up for what I missed
Oh yeah

-chorus-

Ohh yeah uhh yeah come on uhh huh
And the more I think about it, the less it hurts inside
Cuz tonight I'm wanted dead or alive

Party like a rock star, hit a bunch of strip bars
wake up naked in a hotel room
Throw my TV out the window, smoke a bunch of indo
Anything to get my mind off of you.

-chorus-

Yea, uh-huh, Party like a rock star
We gonna, we gonna party like a rock star

Everybody say partyyy
Everybody say partyyy like a rock star
Dude looks like a lady! whoo

and bryn somehow ends up saving the day at quizno's yet again..... at 10.30 at night

sunday night gives

you work on the truth; i'll work on the patience.




today was an adventure, that's for sure!!!



monday awaits.. blah

frustration to the maxx

i wish for once you'd remember you have people in your life that would love to be there for you.
but you don't let them. i haven't talked to you basically a week. pretty sad. and it's not just about me either.
open your eyes!
we're crying out to and for you, yet you close all doors and repeat nostalgia. sure, i honestly can say that i know how this is. i hear your pain. but honestly, the best thing to do is keep it in your heart, and busy yourself with SOMETHING or another, so that you're not constantly thinking about it. PRAY!
you're frustrating us all as you're, once again, closing us all out. you're not listening to what we say.
it's awful.
:(

yes;

slow. awkward. funny. questions? yes. smiling. first. just right.

butterfliessssss

it's funny how we hold onto things we're not ready to give up
and when the next thing comes along, yet again, we cling

but jeez how i hold on and hold on.... when there is no point
hold my self in high hopes of something i know, in my heart, cannot be.
yet i say hello, i say goodbye, again and again
is this 'another' final goodbye?


so this time.... is it real? because i hope so.
we'll see....

if people knew how to make peace with each other
we'd all be in love and we'd all let music drive us into a dance no one would be able to stop
we'd dance until our deaths within our own red shoes
a circle around the earth because everyone loved us
for love started us
and love shall kill us

oh woe is love

last night i told a story to myself to help me fall asleep...
i told of you and our adventures,
the same as always but different scenario
instead of distance, i told of ranks, of hierarchy
of olden times, where damsels held up their own and knights were helpless
as i finished the story, i began to cry....
as also, in the end of my story, she could not have the man she loved
and i never finished it, for i had cried myself to sleep.

cracks on the sidewalk

cracks on the sidewalk
slowly opening
splitting the once solid surface or cement
peeking through are the flowers, some remind me of you
walking down the sidewalks
hearing the wind whisper words i cannot understand
what i want to hear and what i do hear are two different things
in the day dreams, i see your face in the cracks
am i sane or is this real
when last, have i heard your sweet voice?
the comfort of your touch has not been mine to have
since a year....
why?

grrrr

i hate it when you and someone else miscommunicate
it leaves you so disappointed and mad when it ends up really out of proportion
and you can't be mad at the person, because it really was only a miscommunication
yet you're so disappointed.....

oh what is love

i haven't heard your voice in almost a year...
boys have no idea how much they even mean to us.

but hearing his voice say hello and laughing at me.... i forgot how much of his accent i loved
why do they torment us
you'd think distance would mean distance
not the whole distance makes us stronger, makes us love more?
why did that bullshit work on me?

still i am here... and still i fade away
love is a curse, the biggest mistake you'll ever make
and i made it.



"Separation exists only in human mind." -Rinon Hoxha

falling in love is the worst mistake you'll ever make

take heart

it'll take more then heart to push you away
i'm crying as i write this
you're more to me then you ever knew
but i love you all the same....
break my heart, please, take it
i no longer want the damn thing
i hate the awkward 'miss you's and the 'hello, i love you's we secretly say
the hearts we draw the thoughts we never say
the wonderings of never know what could have happened
and the burning fact we can't say goodbye
as we try to repeat history
it keeps repeating it for us...


but i'd rather live with the pain and wonder what happened,
then feel nothing and knowing what would have happened ended up tearing us apart.

Dumbledore: "After all this time, Severus?"
Snape: "Always."

James 1:23-24 (New King James Version)

James 1:23-24 (New King James Version)

23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; 24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was.

addicted - simple plan

I heard you're doin' okay
But I want you to know
I'm addic-
I'm addicted to you


I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?
I try to make you happy
But you left anyway


I'm tryin' to forget
But I'm addicted to you
But I wanted
And I needed
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never
Want to do this again
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker


Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
Still addic-
I'm addicted to you
I think you know that it's true


I'd run a thousand miles to get to you
Do you think I deserve this
I tried to make you happy
I did all that I could
Just to treat you good in every way


I'm tryin' to forget
But I'm addicted to you
But I wanted
And I needed
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never
Want to do this again
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker


How long will I be waiting
Till the end of time
I don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine


I'm trying to forget
But I'm addicted to you
But I wanted
And I needed
I'm addicted to you


I'm trying to forget
But I'm addicted to you
But I wanted
And I needed
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never
Want to do this again
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker


I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker